Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...

Photo by Matthew Bedford on Unsplash

It is hard to believe that just a little over a year ago, I submitted my application for an internship with Global Hope India. It’s funny really; I had spent more than a month considering whether I should dare to fill out the form, and finally, I gave up the internal war I had been fighting and went for it, praying that God would give me clear direction as to how I should spend my upcoming summer. In no way did I imagine how fast things would come together. Just a couple days before I headed home for Thanksgiving break last year, I received the reply – I was accepted! Christmas break consisted of a whirlwind of activities and preparations as I talked to family and friends about what I would be doing, wrote support letters, and applied for my passport. My spring semester was a continuation of that as I learned about the Indian culture, shared with even more people and made decisions about where and how I would be spending my time in India.
Time flew by and suddenly, the semester was over and I was scrambling to get all the last minute details in order before leaving the U.S. To make things even crazier, just a week before I left for India and a few days before I headed to N.C. for stateside intern orientation, GHI called me and asked me if I would consider changing the location I would be going to. After talking it over with my family and praying about it, I agreed to the change. Rather than going to Andhra Pradesh, I ended up in Odisha (Orissa), where I spent my summer with a rural ministry. I do not regret that decision. It has been a blessing to know the people there and to be able to continue some of the friendships I formed with them, even now as I am back in the U.S.
Now, I am heading toward the end of another semester and looking forward to graduating from college in the spring. But, at the same time, I find myself looking back at the summer and the memories that come with it. A year ago, I never imagined that I would spend over two months in India teaching in a school, playing with a bunch of Indian children, and falling in love with the country and its people. And yet, that is exactly what happened.
There is a saying, which goes something like “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and I am finding it to be a very true statement. There is something about being away from people one cares about that creates an ever deepening longing to see them again. In addition, it is a strange thing, but being away from a country one has spent some time in also has a similar effect. I have been noticing that there is a direct correlation between the amount of time I have been away from India and the growing desire I have to go back. The interesting thing is, I do not want to go back simply to visit my friends, or my little Indian brothers and sisters. Rather, I just plain care about the people of India in general, and I want to do something that will be of benefit in the long-term. The more I think about India and the people I met, the more I long to go back and meet people I have yet to meet, do work that I have yet to do and see places I have yet to see.
I am torn between the obligations I have to meet in the U.S. and wanting to return to India. I am torn between the desire to serve God overseas and the reality that for now, I have to stay in the U.S. and serve God here. In the midst of it all, I feel as if I am stuck. I’m stuck between where I have to be and where I want to be. Don’t get me wrong, I know that this is the place where God has me now, but I also have a great longing to go and do what I believe He is calling me to do in the future. At the same time, I know that what I think God is calling me to do in the future may not actually be what He wants me to do. And so, I wait…and in the process, I will endeavor to serve God wherever He puts me.

Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;
    make known among the nations what he has done.

~ Psalm 105:1 (NIV)
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

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