There and Back Again: India and Beyond

Photo by  Aman Bhargava  on  Unsplash After my stay in Mumbai, where I learned about urban poverty and related issues, I traveled to the state of Odisha where some friends of mine are working to make a difference among the rural and tribal populations.  When I was in India before, I spent the bulk of my time there, and it was amazing to see how the work has expanded over the past four years. I really enjoyed having the opportunity to see many of the people who I had met previously. My arrival had been kept quiet, so most of the people, including the children, were not expecting to see me. Some, who had been here four years ago during my last time in India, immediately recognized me, others being more tentative. Many asked my name, and when I said “Jessica,” their faces immediately lit up, and they said “Jessica, sister!” This time, I had the wonderful opportunity to work with a team of students who were putting on a special children’s program. It ...

Photo by  Daryn Stumbaugh  on  Unsplash Throughout this blog series, I have discussed what it means to trust the Lord in a variety of contexts: when our desires and dreams are yet unfulfilled , when we are lonely , when we fail to measure up , and when we surrender to the Lord’s way . In this post, I would like to explore one of the things that can undermine our ability to leave what we have surrendered in the Lord’s hands – fear. As humans, we are well acquainted with fear – we fear change, we fear the unknown, we fear losing control, we fear being lonely, we fear that we won’t measure up. We fear. The problem is that if we give into our fears, we find ourselves falling deeper and deeper into despair, succumbing to more fears and ultimately paralyzing ourselves. Even worse, we often end up hurting the people around us. It reminds me of the 2013 Disney animated film “Frozen.” The movie portrays two sisters (Elsa and Anna) – one of whom is ruled by her fears,...

Photo by  Jared Erondu  on  Unsplash Often, we are tempted to think that surrender is a dirty word. No one wants to give up their rights, their freedom to choose, their opinions of what’s best for them. After all, for those of us in the Western world, our lives revolve around ourselves – we pride ourselves in our accomplishments, in having the freedom to live our lives in whatever way we choose. We revel in our autonomy, and we hate even the thought of surrendering any part of ourselves. This attitude permeates our entire culture and affects every aspect of our relationships. But what does it actually accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Instead of the American dream of a couple with 2.5 kids living in a house with a white picket fence, there is painful tragedy as marriages crumble and children are caught in the middle of the divorce proceedings as their autonomous parents attempt to divide up their assets. Instead of people having the opportunity climb up the econom...

Photo by  Christian Kaindl  on  Unsplash As humans, one of the biggest struggles we have is between the pride we have in ourselves and the reality that we really don’t have it all together. We like to think that we are good, successful, kindhearted and generous people. But, the reality is that we are often far from being any of those things. We, as sinful creatures, are full of rude and selfish attitudes which have a tendency to rear their ugly heads in the most inappropriate of situations. Our pride can easily get in the way of our ability to build and maintain relationships with the people around us and rob us of the opportunity to be in community with even fellow Christians. Our pride comes out to bite us most when we are confronted by the idea (and often, reality!) that we do not, and cannot , measure up. This can happen when a college student gets his or her grades back at the end of the semester and sees that they were sorely lacking, or when we compare ...

Photo by  Fabrizio Verrecchia  on  Unsplash Have you ever felt lonely? I mean, really lonely? Like that aching, gnawing feeling that you are all alone in this world and that there is no one and nothing to satisfy. Or the feeling that you are alone in the midst of a sea of other faces and you don’t really matter all that much. Shortly after moving out of my parents’ house post-graduation and obtaining a job, I found myself feeling incredibly lonely – but, not the kind of lonely that comes from living alone or not being able to spend time with my friends. No, this was the kind of lonely that comes from desiring to have the closeness that comes with being in a romantic relationship, but presently not being in that state. Not that I have a lot of experience with romantic relationships, but like most people, I have a desire for those things. A desire to love and be loved, to hold hands and whisper words of affection in another’s ear, to talk about life and dream...

Photo by  Ruben Mishchuk  on  Unsplash Several weeks ago, my pastor challenged me to do a Bible word/theme study on what it means to trust God and what trusting God looks like. Since then, I have been encouraged by a friend of mine to share what I’ve been learning via this blog. My plan is to make this the first post of a blog series on the topic. It is my hope that you will be both encouraged and challenged as you follow my journey through Scripture and the lessons I learn along the way. Have you ever hoped for something so much that it caused you to ache with the longing, only to have those hopes totally dashed? Have you ever had a dream to do something incredible, only to realize that your dream is not realistic and is in fact, impossible? Have you ever desired anything so much that you would be willing to risk everything just to make it a reality, only to find out that what you desired was a fake? My guess is that most of you could probably answer “y...

Photo by  quentin  on  Unsplash Sometimes I really wonder just how “put together” my life really is. It seems like just when I think I have everything figure out, something else comes up and smacks me in the face. For example, I mentioned in my last post that I was seriously considering seminary – but, here I am taking what appears to be an indefinite break from the academic world (minus, of course, my personal studies which are born out of my passion for learning). In addition, while I still have a passion for working with children and youth, particularly those who have been rescued out of slavery, I am finding myself pondering what else the Lord may have in store for my life. Will India play a part in my future, or does God have something different in mind? I know that the Lord has put a passion for missions, and serving Him in general, on my heart – but where will that lead me? At this point in my life, I am beginning to feel like I did during the time that...

Photo by  Katerina Radvanska  on  Unsplash Today I had a conversation with a friend in which I was asked what I want to do career-wise. That conversation is what has prompted me to write this post. So, what am I looking forward to doing in the future? What is my heart’s passion and desire? How will my Ministry, Bible and Intercultural Studies background fit into all this? Will I need to further my education beyond my already-acquired bachelor’s degree? Where does India fit into the future, or will it? To a certain extent, the future seems unclear and quite uncertain. However, it isn’t completely that way. Over the past couple of years, I have debated back and forth over what exactly I would like to do. But, there are some things that are certain in my mind.  I know that God has put a desire on my heart to work with children and youth (particularly girls) who have been rescued out of slavery. I know that my passion is for discipleship and helping people t...

Photo by  Aaron Burden  on  Unsplash Gracious! It has been far too long since I posted anything and yet so much has happened in the last few months! It seems so strange to me that just a year ago, I was nearing the end of my stay in India and was busy trying to keep up with my students and all the other children. Now, I have graduated from college, acquired a job, and will be moving away from home within a couple of weeks. How time does fly and how things change in such a short period. We grow older and enter new stages of life. Friends go their separate ways. Family members pass away. And the list goes on. Like the writer of Ecclesiastes says, " For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven " (Eccl. 3:1, ESV). And yet, in the midst of these changing seasons, we can find hope in the One who never changes. As Lamentations states, " But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; hi...

Photo by  daniel plan  on  Unsplash It is hard for me to believe that we are already in a new year – 2014! The past couple of weeks have been a bit eventful as I have been spending time with my family and editing my resume. It has also been a time of contemplation as I consider what the future might hold. Thinking about the future can be frightening, especially for someone like me who tends to look ahead and see endless possibilities without any surety. It is my observation that such contemplation often leads to much uncertainty, and in some cases, sheer panic. What am I to do next? Where will I go? What do I even want to do? The questions are without end, and the more questions rise, the more I find myself wandering around in confusion. I have never liked making decisions without being quite certain that I am doing the right thing, and this point in my life is no exception. Here I am, about to embark on the last semester of my undergraduate career, having no...

Photo by  Matthew Bedford  on  Unsplash It is hard to believe that just a little over a year ago, I submitted my application for an internship with Global Hope India. It’s funny really; I had spent more than a month considering whether I should dare to fill out the form, and finally, I gave up the internal war I had been fighting and went for it, praying that God would give me clear direction as to how I should spend my upcoming summer. In no way did I imagine how fast things would come together. Just a couple days before I headed home for Thanksgiving break last year, I received the reply – I was accepted! Christmas break consisted of a whirlwind of activities and preparations as I talked to family and friends about what I would be doing, wrote support letters, and applied for my passport. My spring semester was a continuation of that as I learned about the Indian culture, shared with even more people and made decisions about where and how I would be spending m...

Photo by  erik cid  on  Unsplash With all of the turmoil and resulting anxiety of people lately (due to tense situations around the world, the disagreements within the U.S. government and whatever else), it has made me consider whether I ought to say something or not. But, the thing is, I believe I do have something to say and even if it only ends up making a difference for one or two people, it just might be worthwhile. So, here goes. Whenever I find myself feeling discouraged about whatever is going on in my life (or the world) or a complete lack of peace regarding the future, I like to take some time to reflect on where it is that I have been searching for peace or security, and where I ought to be looking instead. As a Christian, I ought to be looking to Jesus Christ. But, because I am an imperfect human being, I often make the mistake of looking in all the wrong places – friendships, music, the solitude of my room, etc. The result is that I end up feeling i...